semantics

Yesterday, as I was ruing the fact that I hadn't worked out in days other than during my bike commute, and melting the butter for a truly wicked chocolate sheet cake (http://thepioneerwoman.com/cooking/2007/06/the_best_chocol/), I started to think about how difficult it is for me to be committed. Indeed, I would even argue that I fear commitment (see, e.g., male/female relationships of a personal nature). Thus, we see the repetitive cycles of my life - abandoned diets, short-lived exercise efforts and the like, and the accompanying whine of "it's too hard to commit."

Yet on the other hand, my life is overwhelmingly full of what I would term obsessive interests. For example, the devotion to crafts can be demonstrated with my persistence in finishing yet another row even though it's 3:00 a.m. and I have to go work the next day. Or, the need to continue making fantastical, really gorgeous baked desserts despite living by myself with only choco-allergic canines. And then there are the 16 (or 54, or 108) episode Korean drama marathons. All shining exemplars of obsession, which, it need be said, are not limited to extracurriculars. My type-A attention to detail regarding professional writing is also closely related to the obsession gene.

Commitment feels hard. In theory, it involves working against one's nature, diligence, and a stoic kind of Protestant work ethic. Obsession though, is easy in its involuntary, whimsical nature, as it is more akin to surrendering to the tide of your interests. Regardless, both involve immersion in an activity and true dedication. It's just that one is much more fun and feels infinitely easier, rather than a trial of patience.


So I'd like to say, screw commitment. Isn't it possible to reframe one's mind into productive obsession? Can't I become obsessed with exercise, and whole grains, and a more positive attitude towards work? I think it's worth a try. After all, it all depends on perspective.